Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Seyogia : manusia punya banyak bicara dusta. Ini kisah karut tentang aku.


Batuk batuk sambil bersihkan habuk.

Termenung .

 Seriously I didn’t have any idea why I did spend some time to sit in front of my lappy. It has been 4 months. hmm is that long?  Sorry.  Err would sorry have made any difference, does it ever? Yes it’s just a word.  One words against a thousand actions. Why do girls always feel like they have to apologize for giving an opinion or taking up space in the world?

Well, I do feel some loneliness through 4 months before. I do felt my absence. Just because I had every right to feel sorry it doesn’t mean I took the opportunity to do so.

‘’This is only what life imparts
These deep silences within
Have been handed out to all by the time
Everyone’s story has a little sorrow
Everyone’s share has a little sunshine’’

But you know what I’m being sorry is having a words  to say when I know I should but I just can’t. My brain must have felt sorry for me, really. Why did I silence, did I just hate blogging which are include in the things that I adore most in my life?


You what?   Yes I did. Oh Girl. No !

I just lost hope on some things maybe, may I say a conflict with my inner thought and I need a space to deeply thinking about that? Yes, you may dear self.  It doesn’t change my status perhaps.   One of the greatest ever statement that can keep me at peace is that, “ Hi, I’m alright . I learn to value myself. How is that?  fight for my happiness. So I’m trying. Indeed. My happiness is only being with My Greatest Creator.  I trust in HIM. I am depending on HIM. Tuhan sekelian alam. Yang menciptakan baik dan buruknya aku. Yang menghadiahkan aku bahagia untuk mengajar aku rasa peritnya derita dan diberinya  aku sakit dan pedih untuk mengajar aku menghargai nikmatnya bahagia.

“Cukuplah Allah  menjadi penolong kami dan Allah adalah sebaik baik pelindung” Ali-Imran 173

 People always talk about how hard it can be to remember things but rarely talks about how much effort we put into forgetting.  

“maybe a sweet dream that you can’t forget
So close yet far-fetched
Causing you to float on the line
Between reality and fantasy
Haunted the nightmares
Love and hates, Driving me crazy
The blind arrows of piercing cold ice and warm melting heart
Tearing me apart”

“….tearing me apart…” Hlovate

When someone loves you, the way they say our name is different, the way they text us is different, the way they did everything with us all is different. I no longer believe in the idea of love or anything related with that.  Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something the more it wants to get away.

Err what do I cover today? Nothing. 


Okay, let me stories some of my progress.

 I just read 2 malay novel which means, it has been 2 or 3 years that I hate to read malay novel. So lets clap.  oh don’t make a big deal. I have so many collection of Lejen Press malay novel in my wardrobe .  I am kwangsoo hard die fan. Once in a week. (only) Not a really hard die fan lah. I got 3 niece/nephew for this year. Hijjaz, qisya and Afif. . okay.  I am waiting for the right time to make a review regarding my brother’s book “Travelog di bumi Dajlah”   And I didn’t find any suitable time yet cause I’m so bad at writing sad story.  It has been postpone so many times.sad due to emotional feeling when I'm reading that book. hmm 

what about my daily life?  errr.. yes, you may check it at my twitter.  Anything else?

I just did it ! hahaha

I just update my blog and write a post in 3 hour. Sambung ketawa.

Thankfully, tadi siang dah bergelumang dengan due date assignment. Cun betul sir, pakat nak hantar assignment on 30 April. suka.

“Being alone never felt right, sometimes it felt good but it’s never felt right”

Hamba mintak diri, Didahului dengan ucapan wassalam.  Dan semoga Allah menjaga kita dari jahatnya pemikiran dan perbuatan manusia lain.

currently I'm keeping an eye on one person, but I'm not a nutty as a fruitcake. saranghae.