Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Waiting For Rainbow | Life Update

 Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Know I haven’t post my life update in a long time.  This past week was really a depressing week for me.  This coming week gonna be a little hectic as usual as I had to prepare for someone’s big days in a few months. But hopefully everything will turn out great. As for me, things have gotten much better. Is it? Hmmm

I know that I haven’t been posting on here regarding my life very much lately. There have been a times that I have thought about deleting altogether and the fact that I am 23 old enough to spend my time here (meeting bunch of new person and they probably watching out my old stories here)  but I have had this blog close to 4 years. 

I have had this blog during my hard times even though I started writing like a young kid. This blog was my close friend. I have tried keeping journals and diaries but I never keep up with them as I only keep the diaries during the early year. Being here make me happy, meet beautiful kindhearted strangers, those strangers who are reading about things that I go through more in depth. Those who are secretly watching out few things for me, those who are praying in their silent doa for me. 

It’s just hitting me now when looking at my sisters, niece as well as my nephews that I’m a proper adult at this point and it’s weird because I feel like I was going to school yesterday with my father and waking up today I already a grown up woman.

So, how’s life? I have had a particularly rough January-february-march as I am in my Internship period until this june. I just hoping that everything will turn out to be great at the end of the training. I promised to have a bedtimes stories regarding my “already-2 month” here (INTEC Office) but kinda busy and have a lot of pressured this past weeks. Despite of being busy, I have noticed that I have become extra unproductive and it does make me sad thinking back how I am before. I am hoping that I will gain new spirit and this unproductive phase was just only one of those ‘’ehh I wanna take a break let me have a rest hmm” 

I miss my study period. How it was so different from working life. I don’t know what to call my life recently. Ha ha does it look like office hour doesn’t suit me duh. I don’t remember how yesterday reflect my life today. I just want to remember that I’m feeling better today. I remember those past years during my study period, every 2 weeks or often every week I will go back to my sister house at Petaling Jaya from Nilai and I will have a great time with the boys. In fact every time I felt so depressed, I’ll go there. 

After I leave Kl and stay here..

My sister was like,

“Kau tahu pantang tengok orang sebaya mokna, haa.. tu mokna tu mokna”

“Semua orang diorang ingat mokna”

And I was like huaa rindu mmm. Why they treat their mokna so special. I feel like I’m flying there every time I’m having my hard time. Not being able to kiss and hug them is driving me insane. 

I will stop here as I need to go somewhere for today. Looking forward to my ridiculous babbling next time ha ha (as me also got surprised with my babbling skills)

It’s funny how you’ve said you care a lot about me and that you’d always be there for me and yet in these past few years I’ve needed you more than ever but you’re nowhere to be found. At least tell me this, if this is goodbye tell me now and don’t have me waiting any longer. My destiny isn’t tied to the people who walked away from my life.

I sincerely apologized for the random and long update so if you have made this far, thank you. I love each and every one of you who sincerely reading my blog. I am looking forward to welcome April as April is my favorite month ever. See you in April peeps ;)

till then, wassalam. 

currently I'm keeping an eye on one person, but I'm not a nutty as a fruitcake. saranghae.

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